The very short story of Satan

Heres the story folks: I was there when it happened.

Bah why would God own Satan? Satan was just doing his job when God said "Hey man, you just hang back. I need someone to keep the troublemakers in check. Help me out?"
Satan was like, "Sure thing boss, but you have to take care of the prayers on weekends because I like to sleep in."
God was like, "That's cool. Hey, are we still on for Mario Kart this weekend? "
Satan was like, "If I can be Bowser."
God went, "That's cool. I like Luigi anyway. Your SO going down."
Then he whipped out his super fly saiyan haircut.

I was there. I saw it all.

Seriously, they had it before we did. Videogames ripped them off. Can't believe God held back on us ,but yeah, this is true... Satan's a pretty nice guy when he's not raping Hittler...