How to Disneyland with a Minimum of Suck

Being an avid Disneyland-goer has taught me a few things, like how to experience all that Disneyland has to offer while putting up with only a minimum of suck. It wasn't luck that I rode 25+ rides last time I visited for a day. There have been many a time where my friends have told me that they were completely wiped after 2-3 rides. This must stop, and I am here to stop it.

The key to avoiding suck at Disneyland is a little thing called a Fastpass.

Myth/Facts about Fastpasses:

•They cost extra / Your mom costs extra; Fastpasses are free. You can get a fastpass for a particular ride by going to that ride's Fastpass distribution center, which is located near its line, and swiping your ticket or annual pass.

•Fastpasses get you directly onboard / Unfortunately, they do not. They allow you to skip the majority of the line, but still put you behind a certain amount of people, be they fellow Fastpass-holders, or people who waited standby.

•Fastpasses are pointless. They just let you wait somewhere else. / Unless you consider being able to have fun elsewhere rather than waiting in line pointless, they have a point.

•You can revive Aeris / No you can't, so shut up. Plus, that would make one of the most memorable moments in videogame history pointless.

So, when you swipe your ticket and recieve your Fastpass, it will have a one hour block of time printed on it. That is the window during which you can use your Fastpass on that particular ride. While you have one Fastpass, you will be unable to get another Fastpass in the same park. That means that when you have a Fastpass for a ride at Disneyland, though you cannot get another Fastpass for a ride at Disneyland, you can still get one in California Adventure/Animal Kingdom/MGM Studios/Park of your choice.

Rules:

1. Never wait more than 30 minutes for a ride. Those rides are the ones you get Fastpasses for.

2. Always have a Fastpass. There's no reason that you should not have a very short wait waiting for you at all times.

3. Occupy your time while waiting for your Fastpass to become active. Wait in the standby line for a ride while waiting for your Fastpass to become active. Once your done with the ride you waited for, you can run over and hop on the other.

4. Don't waste Fastpasses. If the standby line for a ride is less than 30 minutes, don't get a Fastpass for that ride; Get it for one with a longer wait and just wait standby for this one.

5. Get a new Fastpass before using your current one. You are allowed to get a new Fastpass as soon as your current one becomes active, not as soon as you use it. There is no way for the machines to know that you handed your Fastpass in, so they just let you get a new one as soon as it is the earliest time printed on the Fastpass. This means that as soon as your Space Mountain Fastpass becomes active, you should pick up an Indiana Jones Fastpass before you hop on Space Mountain.

6. The fastfood restaraunts there serve the same food. When your friend tells you they have better burgers on the other side of the park, slap him; he's wrong. If it's the same item, it's the same item. The chicken tenders are the same all around Disneyland, so save time and pick'em up at the closest restaraunt.

7. Take advantage of parades. When people are gathered on the "street" to see "Mickey" prance around, then they aren't in line for your favorite ride.

8. Don't let the family be deadweight. If you came with a group, and some of them want to take care of the kids/sit and relax/not ride things for some reason, fine. Use their tickets to nab yourself an extra Fastpass.

9. Have a designated Fastpass retriever. Have your group give one person all of their tickets to get Fastpasses while they wait standby for a ride. That person can run, grab Fastpasses for the group, and come back to your group, and they will be further in line than they would be if you all went and got Fastpasses and had to just then get in the back of the line.

10. Look for the exit of the gimmick in line. Only one wall in the stretching room in the Haunted Mansion opens up to where you board. Make sure you are as close to that wall as possible when you get in, so that when those doors open, you are the first in your doombuggy. This applies to The Haunted Mansion, The Tower of Terror, Rockin' Roller Coaster, probably some other rides I can't think of.

 

So there you have it. Some simple rules and facts that will help you ride rides all day long, get the most bang for your buck, and avoid a whole lot of suck.